Combining our recent experience with books and our profound knowledge of mutant porn, we came to a staggering insight. Even if a zine contains pictures, you can still read the corresponding text! This opens up a whole new way to acquire information. In that way we learned, in ancient times there was a man, who worked as some kind of newsperson. He was completely inept and even his girlfriend thought he was a dork. But when he donned his costume, he became very strong, shot lasers from his eyes und generally stopped being his useless self. However, because he looked ridiculous in this costume of his, everybody pretended not to recognize him when he wore it. Anyways, here is our plan. To use this mighty voodoo, we replicate this costume, dress up a slave and shove him in the direction of our enemies. All we need are some rags and pigments refined from soylent blue and soylent red. What could possibly go wrong?