The Academy reports of a strange finding in the region of Dallas, D.C.: a goat with three pairs of horns. This otherwise unremarkable, black animal has already gained a considerable local fame under the name of 'Baddie'. However, although the town's general store noticed a sharp increase in tourism income, the community might be looking at some serious trouble: several bands of Dark Ones were reported near the area. As we were told by our expert Inquisitor Kashub from the Church, these maniacal heretics are most likely converging on the goat in some twisted parody of a religious pilgrimage or coronation. The locals are advised not to leave their homes for the time being, and immediately report any unexplainable observations to the special Academy hotline: 111-GOD.